just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
