the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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