You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
