I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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