she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
