I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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