can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
