HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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