my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
