i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
