I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
