im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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