if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I forget how to act sober
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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