I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
this is an emotional support booty call
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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