Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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