I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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