I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
