At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
