Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
