Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
