Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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