when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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