I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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