...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
