I like my sex mixed with concussions.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
