I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
