Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
