So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
