thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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