I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
