never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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