I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
