He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
