It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
