I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
