Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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