Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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