They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
