It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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