smell my finger.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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