dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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