There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
