Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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