I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
