I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
