After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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