Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
