Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
