Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Still dying that you shit outside
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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