I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
