He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
